Dealing with divorce is never easy or simple. There are very few divorces where partners part amicably and remain good friends later on. In most cases, partners fight like anything and are hostile to each other for the rest of their lives and never forgive each other for the pain and misery of the divorce
People have different ways of dealing with divorce. While some throw themselves in work to lessen the pain and misery that follows a divorce, many take up drinking to forget their pain while others just wallow in misery and cut off from the rest of the world to suffer in solitude. However, dealing with divorce also depends on your mental state and capacity to deal with pain and anger.
From the time divorce is filed till you receive the papers, it’s a crucial and emotionally disturbing period and you need to take each day as it comes to cope in the best possible manner. This article brings some of the best tips for dealing with a divorce to help lessen the pain of a breaking relationship and to get back to a normal life instead of thinking about what you have lost.
1. Help Yourself and Your Children See the Good
Instead of thinking that what catastrophe has fallen on you, think good and make your children see good in what has happened. Say positive things to boost the morale of your children so that they do not feel dejected or responsible for what has happened. Tell them that they will be loved no matter what happens and that you still remember the good qualities of their other parents so that your child does not grow with bitterness and resentment in his or her mind.
Try to boost your morale too by thinking that its better that you are alone and happy rather than living with someone whom you didn’t love. If the divorce was a bitter one, console yourself by realizing that it is was for the good and it was better than living with someone who you no longer loved or trusted.
2. Fight Your Depression
Instead of feeling depressed or too much melancholy, better than going to the doctor for some medication to alleviate depression, it is better that you work out this depression yourself. It’s true that depression comes with divorce and its very real and cane at away a person if they give into it.
However, there are ways to deal with it, such as joining an exercise or yoga group or even take up meditation, you can also volunteer at a church or a hospital or join a book group or even take up a new hobby to keep yourself busy as this is a very constructive way to fight depression and begin your new life.
3. Check Out Your Rights and Duties
Signing the divorce papers is not the end, there are still things to be agreed upon, such as custody or children and child support if you have any kids. Make sure you consult a lawyer about these things and are aware of all the important laws so that you are able to get what’s rightful for you and your kids and do not suffer in future either mentally or financially.
The best thing to do when dealing with a divorce is to be yourself. Don’t force yourself to do things you don’t want do but make sure you do not languish away in pain and depression. Take your time to come to terms with what has happened but do not let it ruin your life or your kids’ life too. It is better to reach certain agreements in front of a judge rather than taking decisions on your own and dealing with your ex as it can prove to be painful as well as dirty.
Keep your divorce lawyer close and make sure you are updated on everything that is happening so that right decisions are taken. Remember, suffering mentally or financially afterwards is as bad as going through a divorce again so keep your eyes and ears open and make wise decisions.